uganda love video
December 4th, 2009Three Days of Oppression
September 2nd, 2009being in Gulu rocked my world.
everything i knew about suffering and oppression went right out the window.
seeing the huts and experiencing that lifestyle brought me out of my comfort zone but feeling the suffering and oppression on a spiritual level hurt me. i was very thankful at the end of the Gulu trip to have experienced spiritual attacks in Afghanistan and even in the past two years of being back home. it reassured me that no i was not crazy and that i was not making up what i felt.
for two days, i experienced a level of spiritual oppression and attack that i have never before felt in my life. headaches, irritability, the feeling that i just wanted to punch the next person that touched me. this kind of emotion had not risen in me since last fall when i was experiencing dark attacks on me. it was extremely disorienting yet all too familiar of a feeling. i knew what was happening but i just didn’t care.
one of the first prayer walks we did in the village i was hit hard. i didn’t speak up about it while i was in the moment but i definitely remember acting different than normal. we stopped at one hut and as i walked up to it, it was if all of my sins were being replayed for me in my head at 1 million frames/second. over and over i was seeing everything i had done wrong in life, and still doing wrong for many of them, and i could feel my mind become flooded with temptations and things far from Christ.
i was not into prayer walking anymore and since i had my camera, i capitalized and walked away from the group to take pictures. it was amazing how therapeutic it was for me to get shots of the village and of the children in it. each time i put my eye behind the lens, i felt a release from the torment in my head. as i moved farther and farther away from the group, about 20 or 30 feet, all the noise and confusion in my head stopped.
silence. back to normal.
it was a strange feeling to say the least and even looking back on it, i’m amazed at how fast everything went quiet. but in hindsight, it is evident how powerful the spiritual warfare was in the village. huts, one by one, were being fought over between satan and God. clearly (he) was trying to claim the lives of the people there and in talking with people and hearing their stories, it was scary how convincing (he) was to these people.
“i cannot accept Christ as my Savior because my means for money is brewing alcohol. my children need to get an education and their father is dead so i must work this job to get them to school. if i accept Jesus, i must give up this profession or i will be considered unclean.”
how untrue!! but the culture and satan have created this illusion and it is keeping people from the love and grace of Jesus Christ. it was so sad to sit with someone who completely understood and wanted this relationship but would not commit any further than that based off these ridiculous claims.
and this is just a small glimpse of the spiritual battle. 20 years of war has left the people and their lives in shambles. no homes, no parents, no children – it is a miracle that there is anything left really. and then there are those left behind to live in this mess that have to deal with the after-effects of this war and (he) absolutely preys on those people, convincing them to live in fear and not follow Jesus.
and in three days, i had thoughts, emotions, visions enter my head that were placed there by (him), trying to convince me of that as well. i was oppressed, turned bitter and quiet, convinced that i did not like being in Gulu.
honestly? it wasn’t my favorite part of the trip. but i am convinced that as a Christian, this is where we are called to.
the darkest places of the world. out of our comfortable lives – living in 2000 sq. ft. houses, with 2 cars and water that runs hot for hours. we are called to lower ourselves to these people. to drop to a knee and simply shed tears with them, praying for them, loving them.
after 3 days, i woke up to one of the most beautiful sunrises i had ever seen and felt such a sense of God entering my being, freeing me from this temptation and evil, and showing me the meaning behind it.
“…lead me not into temptation but deliver us from evil…”
God allowed me to withstand just enough from (him), to get a taste of what these people eat everyday so that I would be 100% convinced of this calling. i am biblically mandated to go to the ends of the earth, bringing His love to whoever needs it. bringing His truth to cast away the lies and deception. bringing hope to those in desperate need of a Savior.
this oppression was not fun but it was a growing pain in the journey of a lifetime. i am grateful to be considered worthy to suffer like that for His name so that i may be strengthened by it, so that i may return ready for what God calls me to next.
on to gulu
August 16th, 2009sunday (july 19th for those keeping track)
we went to our last service at University Christian Fellowship, an awesome church in Kampala that Jesse and Andrea got connected with. this church is rockin — fantastic worship with powerful preaching right from scripture. doesn’t get much better than that!
after the service, we piled back into the van and headed off towards gulu. 5-hour car ride. 15 people. 15 passenger van. no leg room and everyone’s bags packed in between our legs in the non-existent leg room. awesome!
most of the ride i spent just watching the scenery and trying to take pictures while hanging out the window. the highlight of the 5 hour trip was the speed bump zone where Uganda deemed it a smart idea to lay down speed bumps every 20 feet to keep the speed down of cars on a newly paved road. i believe it was just over 200 speed bumps later and we finally were back on normal road. yes the first 30 bumps we were laughing but by the 80/90 mark no one was laughing…
around the 3-hour mark, we stopped at a gas station to get out and rest for a moment, fill up on gas. i started feeling really tired and felt a headache coming on. i didn’t really say much about it. just drank water and kept hanging out the window. as we drew closer to adak village (IDP camp right outside of Gulu), i started feeling really “heavy.” something almost seemed to be in the air, pushing down on me. it wasn’t until a couple days later that i realized that i was feeling the “spiritual weight” of the war-torn area. what we were driving into was an area that had thousands upon thousands of displaced persons, almost all being tragically affected by the violence of the LRA (Lord’s Resistance Army).
i was excited to get to adak and spend time in the village there. i really wanted to experience life in these camps and knew that what i would experience that would change me, break me. when we arrived, there were mixed emotions. all of a sudden, we are in a completely different world than Kampala. language barrier, sadness, raw poverty, oppression – both physical and spiritual.
we walked around the camp within the first hour of getting there just to get a feel for what we’d be a part of for the next 3 days. in all honesty, i did not enjoy the first tour of the camp. there was very little interaction with the people there no matter how hard we tried. you would hear a giggle but by the time you turned to see where it came from, it was gone. same thing with smiles. you’d see one but then it was gone.
the IDP camp in adak was filled with spiritual warfare and we were only seeing the beginning of it. this had been going on for 20 years and over the next couple days, i would feel a small dose of spiritual attacks that are a daily occurrence here.
Promotional Film for TTW
August 12th, 2009For those not on Facebook or friends with me there (get on that – friend me!), here’s a promotional film that I created for Touch the World Uganda as a “resume” video to show off my video style. I plan on returning to Uganda next summer as an intern working for photography and video elements to use as promotional pieces to send back home to use in fundraisers or on websites to bring awareness to the TTW Uganda mission.
Enjoy!
Last Day at SMK's
August 11th, 2009saturday.
it’s already been a week since we arrived in Uganda but for me it felt like a month. i felt so at home there and aside from a period of about 30 minutes one day, i loved every minute of it.
it was weird going into the last day with the kids there. the kids that needed our love and presence there. our joy to flow into their lives. and we needed them. something about their demeanor was contagious. their attitude was uplifting. but they desired so much out of a world that would only chew them up and spit them back out. that would continue to trample all over them unless God stepped in and did something about it.
but for me it was in these thoughts that i realized God was doing something about it. he was stirring up a hornet’s nest of fury inside each one of the students on our team, myself included, that would ignite such a desire to change this broken situation. a desire to bring such a radical love to such a dark place. a desire to follow God to the ends of the earth bring His love and His hope and His joy to those who need it most – NO MATTER WHAT.
the last day at SMK’s was not as hard as it was for the girls. they were a mess and really struggled with the idea of “why are we leaving? we are blessed with things and they are blessed with nothing” where as i was thinking and struggling with the idea of patiently waiting to come back. i knew i’d be back. i knew that this was only the beginning for me but it was a matter of patiently waiting on God’s timing and plan for me.
the week at SMK changed me so much and opened my eyes and mind to the meaning of loving the poor and oppressed. never can i go back to the way of thinking i had before.
amen.
Week @ St. Mary Kevin's Boarding School
August 8th, 2009we spent 6 days working and ministering at St. Mary Kevin’s Boarding School. it was without a doubt one of the most spiritually grounding places i’ve ever been to. i was there only 15 minutes on Saturday and immediately felt that “itch” from the Holy Spirit telling me this was the place for me. i felt comfortable there. i felt His presence. i felt His calling in me.
above all else, I felt Him speaking to me that I had nothing to bring to these kids but His love. and it was my choice to speak God’s love to them or not.
in the mornings, we spent the majority of our time painting the new clinic that Touch the World is developing for the school and the neighborhood. we also were the helping hands for the security wall that was being built around the clinic to protect it from theft and vandalism.
the first two days i spent atop the clinic’s roof with two other women painting it and trying not to fall through the single piece of aluminum that is considered a roof 
it was fun and i definitely had a lot of sun exposure. it was also really cool to look at it before as a dirty roof and then after two days look at it and see a red roof. leaves a sense of accomplishment in you
the last three days, though, i was the “porter” for the wall builders. three local guys were hired to build the security wall and my job was to mix the rock/dirt/cement together with water to make actual cement, continuously fill water jugs at the well, bring cement to them when it was ready and look pretty while they created their masterpiece. it was definitely a lot of hard work but i loved it. my shirts were barely fitting at the end of the week from all the lifting and upper body use.
by the end of the week working with these guys, i had learned new phrases in Uganda and was sort of able to hold a “greeting-style” conversation. plus they allowed me to lay bricks and build sections of the wall with them. that was fun because they kept asking why the white man was working with them and not watching. always was interesting to have that pop up in conversation with them.
i loved working on the roof and with the wall. it was really rewarding to see that be finish as we ended our week. only another foot or two was left on the wall but it was high enough that we could “see” the work that we helped with.
each day we would break for lunch and then make our way into the school to hangout with the kids. we would spend time reading with them. so weird to sit and weird The Berenstain Bears and Where’s Waldo? to these kids. totally changed the meaning of those books to me…
after our reading sessions, it was game on with whoever grabbed us and played with us. i had a threesome of older guys that followed me around a lot. Hassan, Alan, and Suuna were all 13/14 years old and seemed to always find me wherever i was. they were also the first stories i would hear in relation to the suffering that they are going through. it was amazing to hear how honest they were with me and how real they were in what they were feeling. it broke my heart though because every conversation ended the same way.
“will you sponsor me? it’s very hard to pay for fees for my school and i need your help…”
it was gut-wretching to have to look them in the eyes and say no. but in the midst of that, the Holy Spirit would tap me on the shoulder and say step aside, my turn now. like that, we would always pray and before i knew it, the Holy Spirit was pouring His voice out and His comfort and love onto these kids and filling their bodies and lives with His peace. after praying over kids and watching their tears fall from their faces onto the ground below, i knew without a doubt in my mind that i really had nothing to give them but prayer and the love of Jesus Christ.
money and pencils and clean beds are a nice temporary fix for them but in the end it runs out and they are left with nothing. i heard a story from Jesse, one of the missionaries, how a former team spent all this money on mosquito nets to protect the kids from bugs and the spread of malaria. unfortunately they all ripped on the metal framed beds that were in the dorms. so do we replace the nets? the frames? if we replace the frames, we have to replace the beds. the kids pee on the beds constantly so how many times do we need to replace them? at what cost?
there is SO much that needs to be done but its all materialistic projects. they are hurting and broken. these kids need nets and new beds but at the end of the day, sitting with them and loving them for who they were and praying over them did far more than i could’ve ever imagined. God is present there and working in their lives and HAS NOT and NEVER will forsake them.
He’s calling us to help and spread His love to the suffering. are you going to answer?
Weekend in Uganda
July 29th, 2009Finishing up at training camp was spiritually powerful and emotionally, we were all ready to be in Uganda to start what God had called us to do. Leaving at 4pm American time, we arrived in Entebbe Airport around 9pm Ugandan time the next day. It was rough to say the least and hard to land at night after sleeping for so long to only have to go back to sleep but we made due.
We met our missionary host in the airport and proceeded to head outside to drive to his home. The first thing I remember is the smell. Very similar to Afghanistan – burning trash, pollution, serious B.O. I cracked a smile as we walked through the parking lot and immediately started having flashbacks to my time in Afghanistan. Good ones, not bad ones.
15 or 20 minutes later, we pulled into the gated compound where the missionary and his wife, Jesse and Andrea, lived. Absolutely breathtaking house and such a blessing to the Touch the World Uganda ministry. Piling all of our stuff into our rooms, we bedded down for the night to rest before a day of briefings and tours of Kampala.
As we woke up the next morning, my first memory is making my way into the kitchen to see Jesse starting a pot of African coffee, french-press style . I got the explanation of free-trade coffee and how working at Starbucks is not welcome in this house. Side note :: He was kidding around but still serious haha. Talking about ****bucks was not allowed Anyways, trying the coffee blew my mind. Can’t go back to a cup of brewed Starbucks now. Hands down, the African coffee I had blew Starbucks out of the water and the conversations that stemmed from it were awesome.
By this point, everyone else is awake and we are going through our introduction briefings until lunch. Not a lot of fun but still
beneficial since none of us have ever been to Uganda. After lunch, Jesse and Andrea decided to take us to St. Mary Kevin’s Orphanage and Boarding School. I was ready to see poverty and the poor but driving up to the school was intense.
As we stopped in front of the iron gate housing all the students, we saw smile after smile coming rushing out of the classrooms to greet us and pull us out of the van. Within minutes, 50 faces and names had been thrown at me and only two were staying with me. Evan and Ivan. You can figure out why I remembered their names well.
Sitting down with a group, we played Jenga and soon moved onto me doing push-ups with the kids and one of them showing me his borderline Cirque de Soleil flexibility. For over fifteen minutes, I sat there watching, listening, taking pictures of every child I could find. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I would be back to sit with them again. It was that clear to me how hard I was being called to this place.
After getting a tour of the orphanage and meeting dozens of kids, we were allowed to roam free and talk with whoever we wanted. It was heartbreaking to see the conditions that they lived in. 20 to 25 beds in a room the size of a large living room. They are only allowed to have one trunk and most of the kids barely have enough stuff to cover the bottom of the trunk. Crazy to see how much stuff that I JUST moved into my apartment. I can fit their belongs into one of my arms…
We stayed only an hour or so more playing with the kids, taking pictures, laughing, making all the necessary introductions with each other all with me saying, “Remind me tomorrow your name because it will be hard to remember everyone.”
After leaving, I had that itch again. Some of the girls were a little sad that we were leaving for the day but for me, I was only excited about coming back. And not just the next day or the next but coming back to stay. To be a part of a change in the world that would bring light and joy into a world of darkness and sorrow.
And after the Sunday service that we attended talked about how we all have “rocks of remembrance” in our lives that we need to hold onto, I realized that my “rock” was St. Mary Kevin’s Orphanage and the time that I would spend there. I cannot imagine myself anywhere else in the world. Not married, working at my church, living comfortably in a nice apartment with room to spare and a working car.
No I see myself sitting in the dirt, drinking well water, holding children in my arms as they tell me how they’ve lost their parents and don’t know what to do. That is my comfort zone and without a doubt where God is calling me to be.
It All Starts Somewhere
July 28th, 2009The mission trip for Uganda started for me July 1 because I had to drive down to the Touch the World office a day early to prepare for the leadership training. During this training, I would learn about TTW policies, leadership requirements, restrictions, advice, and most importantly praying for the trips. It was, to say the least, some of the most humbling and challenging two days I have been a part of and am so thankful for the time that TTW allowed me to have there – to learn, ask questions, pray, worship. Spiritually, it lifted me up and strengthened me, giving me confidence in being a leader to Uganda.
After the two days were over, all the students arrived and started checking in for training camp – a week long experience geared towards breaking down barriers, humbling the students, and providing a place spiritually for them to encounter God and prepare their hearts for what was to come. It reminded me a little of basic training.
Sleep in tents, wake up at 5:45am, breakfast at 6:15, no talking in line, wash your own dishes, no talking in the dish line.
If you are late anywhere, you have to serve an SB (special blessing) which is a nice term for punishment. Anything done against the rules resulted in an SB and as corny as it sounds, it was so beneficial to have and really served as a great tool in following rules.
Every block of time was specifically scheduled and being late was not an option. Morning devotions started prompting at 7:00am and wherever you were when the air horn went off, you sat down and had your devotions. In the dish line, porta-potties, anywhere. If you didn’t have your bible, you sat and were bored for 30 minutes (plus got an SB for not having your bible everywhere with you ).
I have to say that training camp completely sold me on TTW and their devotion to youth ministry. If you are considering a missions trip for your son or daughter, or even leading one a youth trip, check out Touch the World. Training camp is so beneficial and critical to a good experience and really grounds you as an ambassador for Christ and your motives for serving in this capacity.
Without these first two days and week of training, I would not have had the experience that I did nor would I have been prepared for Uganda. In this time, I was able to reflect on and come to grips with many of the sins in my life and struggles that pulled me down. I was able to admit to myself that yes I had an anger problem but that I would flip it and consider it a passion problem – too passionate for my own good and would find something in Uganda to be extremely passionate about. I was able to come to terms with this past break-up that has been lingering with me for months now. I laid a lot at the cross and surrendered it to Jesus and without this full week of spiritual growth, I would’ve been a mess in Uganda.
Praise God!
Back in the States!
July 27th, 2009
Well after 4 weeks of training, flying, and traveling all throughout Uganda, I am finally home! I cannot even begin to describe what just happened in my life. All I know is that there is a hornet’s nest that has been stirred up in my heart for the oppressed and seeking justice for them is now burned into my soul.
There are definitely going to be more entries and I will try to get them going based on the specific days they occurred to keep them short and fun to read so be sure to keep checking back.
Before we left Uganda, the missionary hosts we were with (amazing people!) challenged us to come up with 3 adjectives to describe our trip. One word each, no phrases, and something other than “awesome” and “good.” (By the way, if you have been on a trip or are going to, try this exercise with the group. Very beneficial!)
In doing this, I came up with CHALLENGING, INSPIRING, and REWARDING.
CHALLENGING — I have never in my life been challenged spiritually or emotionally like this before. Reading scripture about the injustice in the world, sitting down with children who have lost all brothers and sisters from war, families who have nothing but the clothes on their back. Spiritual attacks like nothing I have ever encountered. God rocked my world in Uganda and even before I left training camp in New Jersey. Quite the experience.
INSPIRING — What I saw in Kampala and Gulu has changed my life forever. It has inspired me to not “change the world” like any naive person might think about doing but rather suffer alongside these people, bring Christ’s love to them.
1 Peter 2:21 — To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in His steps.
As a disciple of Jesus, we aren’t called to just sit by and worship Him every Sunday and pray to Him in the morning. We aren’t called to be nice to everyone we see and praise Him in the good times and bad. No – we are called to suffer like He did IN ADDITION to the above. To be with the poor and the oppressed, to be with the broken and needy, to shower the world with the love and hope of Jesus Christ.
REWARDING — Sitting with the children of St. Mary Kevin’s Orphanage and Boarding School and then hearing stories from displaced persons in Gulu was by far the most rewarding experience of my entire life. God opened my eyes spiritually and physically and in this my life has been changed and I believe my calling has been redefined to not just a “calling” but rather a biblical mandate. Seek justice for the oppressed, follow in His steps and suffer with others.
So be sure to check back and read about the experience. I will try and get stuff up ASAP!!
Thanks so much to all the prayers and support!! COULDN’T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT YOU!!!
Here We Go!
May 20th, 2009The letters are in the mail!
Almost 90 support letters went out on Monday and with an approximate $3900 bill to pay for the trip, I’m very confident that God is going to be at work in these letters and in the hearts of the recipients. That’s the only way that this kind of money will be raised!
Ona discipline note though, I need to be much more dilegent about praying each day for this trip. Not only do I need to pray for myself and what I am to be doing on this trip but also for those who will be with me during this time.
I received an email today with the participants names to pray for. Mostly ages 16-20. I am the second oldest which was expected and the next oldest is 42, a woman who works for Touch the World. Please join me in prayer for both myself and these people.
Amy, Brittney, Brock, Hilary, Janine, Kristina, Lucas, Megan, Megan, and Yon
July 1st will start the journey for me as I am going down a day early before the leadership conference starts and then July 28th will mark the end as I will be back home then. 4 weeks of stretching, demanding, and some of the most spiritually rewarding times of my life.
Father, I pray for the individuals above. I pray that you keep working in their lives up the day they arrive at training camp. I pray that you bless their decision to embark on this trip and pray for financial support for them. This trip is expensive but nothing is too big for you. I pray that the members of the team can raise enough funds in time for the trip. I pray that their faith in you strengthens as the trip gets closer. I know this trip will be big for Uganda, Touch the World, and each person’s life involved. Thank you for allowing us to be a part of this trip. Use each of our gifts to bring your love to this place. Guide our thoughts and help us prepare for what is ahead. It’s in Jesus’ name I pray and ask these things. Amen