Radical Follower

Something that has really been bothering me lately…

I have yet to find a place for me in school. I’m having a hard time staying involved at church (something I plan on stepping down from in June…). When it comes to relationships, there is something beautiful and sacred about them that I deeply desire but have yet to find. Work – who knows what I’ll do the rest of my life since I can’t even finish school.

But shouldn’t I just rely on God providing for me and leading me through life?

It’s a difficult position to be in life where things aren’t really lining up well but everything seems to line up. I work at Starbucks as a shift supervisor. I make $10.27/hr plus an extra $40-50/week in tips. Plenty of money for me to live comfortably, even with $600 in credit card debt payments a month. Imagine when that is paid off in October! Even more comfortably!

Working at church – tech leading for two years has been great but it isn’t working for me right now. I’m simply praying right now for guidance from God as to where I should serve next and what gifts I have that can benefit the church and the kingdom the most.

Financially — God has hooked me up this past year with money that seemed to appear out of nowhere. Almost $6000 in debt is going to be officially paid off this October. In addition to that, my car which I got for $10,000 will be paid off 2 years early in January 2011 at the rate that I’m going right now. Amen!! In 18-24 months, I’ll be completely debt free and if God were to call me to the ends of the earth, I’d be able to leave within a week and not worry about paying “the man.”

School – part time school is NOT working for me at UConn and at this time, I’m looking into online education through Phoenix University. I’m simply waiting to hear from God on this matter.

Uganda – God’s calling me there this summer. I’ve gotten a couple emails from Invisible Children about internships lasting from anywhere between 4 and 12 months. I’m excited to see where this trip leads me.

But what does all this mean?? How does it line up?? Who knows!

But at the same time, it works. Financially, I’m in no need of getting a job that pays 6 figures which to me means I’m in no real rush to earn a degree to get a job paying that kind of money. Serving at my church is a passion of mine but it’s just a matter of where I can find my niche there. Serving globally has been an interest of mine and its only now that it is starting to come out. Starbucks is satisfying enough to keep around for a while until I need to work somewhere else.

I’m one who likes control of my life and I simply want to know the next move. God is working in me basically telling me to shut-up and have faith. It’s a growing pain but one necessary to build character in me to grow into the person God desires me to be.